0530 hours after a night out (?) in December, 2006
Perfect for sloppy mornings when it’s dark outside and all you want to do is feed the hangover and stumble back to bed and die. As everyone knows, there are 101 ways to make an egg. And another 101 ways to scramble it. But I always wanted to have eggs with a lot of onions and masala yet not scrambled or in an omelette; rather with eggs sunny side up, the yolks just a wee bit runny inside.
So first, to cure the DTs (delirium tremens; the horrors, the shakes or rum fits) remove a couple of eggs and a nice cold beer from the fridge. While the eggs come down to room temperature, the beer cools down the bogeymen doing the pitchfork polka in your head. Another beer for strength and courage to wield a sharp knife and face spluttering hot oil. (Please note, I’m referring to 330 ml cans and not 750 ml bottles; not that a few ml here and there will do any harm!)
Then, when you feel like the sun is feebly breaking through the clouds in your head, go ahead and prepare a meal that’s guaranteed to bring the sunshine back into your life. That, and another beer.
Large splash of olive oil
1 large onion (halved and cut lengthwise)
1 tomato (cut chunky)
Smidgen of tumeric powder
Dash of chilli powder
Pinch of garam masala
Salt to taste
In a pan, heat oil.
Add onions and tomatoes.
Flame on medium.
After 6-8 minutes the onions get caramelised and slightly burned; the tomato has released its juices.
Sprinke the pinch, dash and smidgen.
Crack an egg and gently lower it into a side of the pan.
Repeat on other side of pan.
Sprinkle salt and pepper on each egg.
Cover the pan, put the flame on low, and cook till the yolks get firm yet a little yellowy-wobbly.
Remove pan to table.
Don’t bother with plates and other such nonsense.
Scoop portions onto piece of bread.
Interrupt chewing with swigs.
Finally, scrape the pan clean.
Down the last dregs of beer.
Put on some light jazz.
Fire up a smoke.
Retire to couch/bed and figure out if you’ve just cracked 42.