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The Elby Club

 

The Bartons came over to chez moi. The fun began.

Food, lots: (potato chops, chicken kichdi, mutton vindaloo, dal gosht, steamed rice, butter garlic naan – From Cafe Funky, excellent Parsi fare, do try; next day: a handiful of Goa sausages, bread, jarjir (Eruca sativa) incl. dark chocolate, chikki, chakna and banana chips.

Spirits, wotter lotter it.

Conversation, lottest (ending at 530 hrs and 330 hours, in that order).

After two nights of rigorous indulgence, one would expect the next morning’s meal, the all important breakfast, to be a light affair. A bit of green tea. Or a chai. A ciggie. Simple talk (grunts and groans, more like). And that’s about it.

But no. Albert Barton has other plans. Terrific and calorific. Or, terifically calorifical. So, without further ado, I present The Elby Club. Why Elby, you ask? Well, it’s his joke. You gotta ask him.

The Elby Club

Fry eggs (1 per) both sides; pinch of chili and tumeric powder on the yolk, salt to taste. With other hand, lightly toast bread (3 slices per), butter ‘em up – be generous. Next, spread some pesto.

On slice, place slices of onion and tomato; sprinkle fresh coriander leaves (no stalks, never ever ever, please-  the m. Barton insisted even as the f. Barton insisted that Barton, the former, ceased and desisted from wastage).

Cap with slice No. 2. On it, slap on some prosciutto. Whack a slice o’ processed fromage. Dash of fresh pepper. Bash in some finely chopped chillies. Crown with lettuce. Round off with slice No. 3. Mustard or ketchup, optional. Prayer to St. Lawrence, must. Make ‘aaah!’

June 12, 2016 tonywrites Leave a response , , , , , , ,

Marco Pierre White’s Pumpkin Risotto


December, 2011
Marco Pierre White is one of my fav chefs. Sure, the reason are many: he’s a rockstar chef, a tough cookie and all-round awesome cook with bells and whistles all agleam. And one more: Prior to cooking, he draws a scribble of how he wanted his dish to look. I found that very instructive and remember it when at work. That man is an artist. And artists inspire. No more. No less. Like salt.

I have been following his food column in The National and this is the one I tried.
Result: Awesome.
http://www.thenational.ae/lifestyle/food/marco-pierre-white-pumpkin-risotto

 

December 1, 2011 tonywrites Leave a response , , , , , ,

Mary’s Zeera-Meera (Cumin-Peppercorn) Curry

April, 2010
This is an odd recipe, all right. No ginger, no garlic, lots of flavour. Quite a surprise!

Serves 2

INGREDIENTS

2 pomfrets (or any fish of your choice / 500 gms) clean & cut the fish in slices.
Masala (grind):
½ tsp cumin seeds
½ tsp peppercorns
2 tsp whole coriander seeds
4-5 green chillies
½ tsp hadi powder
Salt
–
Curry patta
3 tomatoes
3 onions

HOW TO
Heat a dekchi (pan) and put 1 and ½ tbsp oil (or less according to preference).
When it starts to smoke, put curry patta then fry onions till golden brown.
Add the tomatoes and fry till pulp.
Then add masala and fry well (it’s done ready when oil separates).
Put two cups of water and let it boil for 5 minutes.
Taste to see the masala’s rawness is gone.
Add the fish and let it cook for 10-12 minutes (depending on on size of slice and thickness).
Add salt to taste.
Serve with warm rice and mango pickle.
Enjoy!

April 21, 2010 tonywrites Leave a response , , , , , ,

Goan-East Indian Pork Vindaloo

A day forever
There’s Goan pork vindaloo, and then there’s the East Indian version. It requires less prep time but tastes, well, friggin’ great. The p. vindaloo I make is not the pure E. Indian way. It’s more of a marriage between E. Indian and Goan cooking. Not a new concept to me at all. No sirree, Bob! 
You see my sister, Milly, is married to an E. Indian. Good old Neil Murzello. I have to be a mutant to be able to count on four score seven fingers to list the number of occasions I’ve stumbled out of Neil’s Dadar appartment replete with Aunty Joyce’s (Neil’s ma; God bless her soul) smorgasbord of East Indian delights. And since this is a roll call of East Indian cooks whose food I’ve been fortunate to masticate, I’ll mention Neil’s sisters, Bella and Lolla.

Like there’s a Goan way to excessively celebrate life, there’s an East Indian way that runs along similar lines and truly boggles the senses (sure, the Punjabis, too, can throw one hell of a bash; but I could really appreciate it only if was born Tejinder a.k.a. Tony as opposed to Anthony a.k.a Tony). 
Take one nos. party at Neil’s place. Mid-helloing and air kissing, Judy (Neil’s bro, Jude) offers me a drink a tad shy of Thums Up and well stocked with my main man, Old Monk. The air is thick with the aroma of fine foods, Wills’ cigarette smoke (to which I’m contributing mushrooms of; note: I’m all of 17 callow years; yeah, yeah, screw the effing lecture on under-legal-age exposure to some of the good things in life) and, what I find such an endearing term, non-veg. jokes. To see Judy do the one which involves an empty rum bottle, matchbox, a priest, a virgin and a confessional, is to have laughed with the Gods. Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock eat your heart out. 
With Sunny and Kiki and Tyrone alternating on acoustic guitar, Baba and Neil belting out S&G, my mum and aunts: Artemis, Marilyn, Philomena, Armine and uncles: Agustine, Pelegrino, Francis and Francis, and my dad sotto voce warbling mournful Konkani songs, and teeny, brave Shaista, Sunny’s daughter, piping a sweet song or two, junta as chorus chipping in with a line or two, time passed by in a joyous blur.

Liquor flowed like water, peals of laughter competed with the output from Neil’s Cosmic sound system, ribald jokes occupied centrestage only to be ousted by songs like ‘Olle momme, I don’t want, Dakte momme I don’t want…’ (won’t translate, pal; find yourself a slap-up Goan+East Indian party to really get into its groove) and the food, glorious food.

My life has been blessed with the presence of East Indians far too many or far too precious to mention. Some that immediately spring to mind are Uncle Condrad, Neil’s dad (God bless his soul), just shy of 90 then, he’d chomp on Flair cigarettes, if I remember his brand correctly, like mints; Biresh, Sunny’s son, now a young man but back then I remember him as a kid, coming into the hall clad in undees and a belt, pulling lethal wrestling moves on me a la his idol Papa Shango; Neil, my brother-in-law and teller of tales; and to stray beyond family, Mario, colleague at erstwhile Madco (cesspit in advertising agency hell; most of the times, at least), who generously shared precious sent-all-the-way-from-back-home tongue sandwiches with me; the same Mario who pushed a 50-year-old birthday celebrant over the edge with an immortal quip: Congratulations ____, one more step closer to the grave; and for a phrase I use every now and then, one that he always used to say after lunch: The Lord be praised, My belly’s been raised; and to return back to family, East Indian newcomers to the clan, my cousin Jack’s missus Adelcyia and her zany brother Addison and her compassionate mother, the gentlest soul I’ve ever come across after my mother, and her grandmother whose fabled masalas accompanied me to Toronto, from which this recipe has sprung to life, and OJ.

From Kabutarkhana, Dadar to Hill Road, Bandra to I.C. Colony, Borivali to Vashind, East Indian enclave and small town located on the bank of the Bhatsa river, I have been charmed and have mightly fallen in love with all my heart with East Indians and their way of life. To my East Indian friends and family: Deo boren korun.*

Serves 6

INGREDIENTS
1 kg pork (boneless; with fatty part intact; cubed)
2-3 tsps East Indian vindaloo masala
1tbsp oil
2 medium onions (chopped fine)
2 tsps ginger-garlic paste
2 green chillies (slit lengthways)
Sugar
Tamarind (lemon-sized, kept in hot water, squeezed and juice drained through sieve)
Salt to taste

HOW TO
Marinate pork overnight in the vindaloo masala (please to refrigerate).
Remove prior to cooking to bring to room temperature.
In a large pot, heat oil on a medium flame.
Fry onions till translucent.
Next, add the ginger-garlic paste.
Stir around; give it a minute.
Add the pork.
Let the pork get browned; stir occasionally so pieces on top get to kiss the hot bottom of the pot.
When pork nicely browned, put in boiling hot water.
Stop when the meat is covered.
Cover the pot and let the meat cook on a low flame till the water almost disappears.
Then, add chillies, tamarind juice, sugar and salt.
Put the three ingredients a bit at a time checking the taste as you go along.
Stop when it tastes right or when an enlisted taster (recommended) gives seasoning the go-ahead (chances are, like me, you’d be down a couple of beers and a few shots of feni by then; Don’t Drink And Drive is well and good but I haven’t seen any ads for Don’t Drink And Cook; Praise The Lord!).
Stir everything around.
At this stage if the water has totally dried up, I add a little water to help the seasoning coat everything.
Then, with flame on simmer, lid back on, let the meat cook till tender, moist and inviting.
Steamed rice or pau.
Both good choices.
Enjoy!

* Konkani for ‘God do you good.’

August 18, 2009 tonywrites Leave a response , , , , , , , ,

Dal With Goa Sausages


Sometime, 200?
Imagine Pammy in her heydey. Now think of two things you liked about her. This recipe with my favourite two things works pretty much along the same lines. Less alluring to look at mayhap, but much, much, much more tasty.

Serves 2

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup tuvar dal (split red gram)
A strip of Goa sausages
1 tsp oil
1 medium onion (finely chopped)
1 tomato (finely chopped)
2 cloves garlic (smashed; roughly chopped)
2 green chillies (split lengthways)
Salt to taste

HOW TO

Separately boil dal in 2 cups of water till almost soft.
In the meanwhile, in a frying pan, heat oil.
Fry onions till brown.
Add tomatoes.
Fry till water disappears.
Fry garlic and chillies.
Introduce the Goa sausages (the masala from the sausage does the job of a tadka).
Add just enough water to cover the sausages.
By the time the water in the sausages dries up, the dal should be ready.
Ladle a few few heaps of dal into the frying pan.
Stir and allow dal to absorb the flavours from the sausages.
Then pour the frying pan’s contents into the pot with dal.
Stir dal till everything is nice and friendly.
Allow to come to boil.
Put flame on low.
Add salt to taste.
Let dal cook uncovered for another 10-15 minutes.
Enjoy!

August 9, 2009 tonywrites Leave a response , , , , , , ,

Tangy Dal


That day, 2008
Not a big deal, really. It’s Dal Antonio with tamarind thrown in for a nice tangy kick.

Serves 6

INGREDIENTS
3/4 cup tuvar dal
3/4 cup moong dal
2 medium tomatoes (roughly chopped)
TADKA:
1-2 tbsp oil
2-3 bay leaves
Handful curry leaves
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp mustard seeds
2 green chillies (sliced lengthwise)
5 garlic cloves (roughly chopped)
1 tsp ginger paste
1 medium onion (chopped fine)
1/2 tsp turmeric powder
1 tsp chilli powder
2 tsps sambar masala
Tamarind (lemon-sized, kept in hot water, squeezed and juice drained through sieve)
Finely chopped coriander leaves for garnish
Salt to taste

HOW TO
Wash and soak dals in water for an hour.
In a large pot, put in 6 cups of water.
Add tomatoes.
Bring to a boil then put flame on low (it should take around an hour or so; if you use a pressure cooker, I don’t know, maybe 15 minutes; my rule of thumb is 3-4 whistles).
Cook till dals almost soft.
Ten minutes before dals cook, in frying pan heat oil on a high flame.
When smoking, fry b. and c. leaves (they’ll go brown in seconds).
Quickly toss in seeds: mustard and cumin.
When they splutter and pop, toss in green chilles.
Next ginger-garlic paste followed by onions.
Keep stirring all the time.
Lower flame and add the tumeric and chilli powder, and sambar masala.
Stir till aroma of spices wafts out of pan.
Then ladle in four to five heaps of dal into the frying pan.
Stir and allow dal to absorb the tadka.
Then return f. pan’s contents to the pot with dal.
Stir till tadka evenly distributed.
Then add tamarind juice.
Allow to come to boil.
Put flame on low.
Add salt to taste.
When done, garnish with fresh coriander.
Enjoy!

October 9, 2008 tonywrites Leave a response , , , , ,

Mary’s Easy-Peasy Drumsticks


April, 2008
This is one of my mum’s favourite numbers when the machiwalli or muttonwallah didn’t turn up at the door. Great with rice, dal and a teensy-weensy piece of salty sukha bombil (dried Bombay duck).

Serves: 4

INGREDIENTS
500 gms drumsticks (clean and cut into middle finger-sized pieces)
1/2 ground coconut
1 tsp mustard seeds
5 medium onions (chopped fine)
5 Kashmiri chillies (break into half)
1 tsp oil
Salt to taste

HOW TO
Heat oil in pot.
Fry mustard and chillies till they start to pop.
Add onions.
Fry till translucent.
Add chopped drumsticks and ground coconut.
Add salt to taste.
Keep flame on low.
Cook till water from drumsticks dries out.
Done.
Enjoy!

April 21, 2008 tonywrites Leave a response , , , , , , ,

Mary’s Easy-Peasy Spinach


February, 2008
A no-brainer accompaniment to a main dish. Sure, it’s more an everyday meal kind of dish. Didn’t like it much as a kid but have grown to appreciate it (not like Popeye, though, unfortunately). I make it on days when I have this vague urge to exercise or do something healthy like that.

Serves: 4

INGREDIENTS
2 sheaves spinach (washed and roughly chopped)
2 medium onions (cut fine)
2 green chillies (cut lengthwise)
3 garlic cloves (crushed)
1 tsp oil
Salt to taste

HOW TO
Heat oil in pot.
Fry chillies and garlic till almost brown.
Add spinach and chopped onions.
Add salt to taste.
Keep flame on low.
Cook till water from spinach dries out.
Done.
Enjoy!

February 3, 2008 tonywrites Leave a response , , , , , , ,

Caje’s Beef Juliennes

September, 2006
My dad, God bless his soul, was a rock ‘n’ roll cook. All my life whenever I watched him cook, I never ever saw him use a spoon, leave alone a measuring spoon, when it came to herbs, spices, seasoning; essentially the whole shebang. Pops smidgened, dashed and pinched with his fingers. Chucking ’em in, as I like to say, just like that only; and crash, boom, bang, boy! did he make food sing.

Dad made Beef Juliennes on festive days. I haven’t eaten this dish in years. So this Christmas at the Batcave, I attempted it totally from memory. This requires an explanation. I learned much, much later in life what a ‘julienne’ meant. Growing up, I thought it was beef made by a guy called Julian. My only memory is of unwinding the string that curled around a strip of beef, which had juliennes of potato, carrot and some other veggie with its folds. Heaven! Thanks, Dad.

Serves 6

INGREDIENTS

1 kg beef (cut into thick strips (12 nos. at least) and flatten with a mallet into 5” x 3” rectangles)
Marinade: 
Splash of vinegar
1 tsp garlic paste
1 tsp ginger paste
1 tsp East Indian green masala (use your masala of choice)
A little salt
~~~
2 large potatoes (cut like a French fry)
2 carrots (julienne to F. fry length)
2 capsicums (julienne ditto)
2 tbsp oil
3 bay leaves
2 cardamoms
2 medium onions, chopped fine
2 medium tomatoes, c. fine
3 green chillies, split lengthwise
1 tsp garlic paste
1⁄2 tsp ginger paste
1⁄2 tsp tumeric powder
1 tsp chilli powder
1 and 1⁄2 tsps East Indian green masala
Tamarind (lemon-sized ball of; keep in bowl of hot water prior to prep)
Salt to taste

HOW TO

Let beef marinate overnight in fridge.
In a large pan, heat oil.
Fry potatoes till brown on each side but don’t allow to cook completely.
Give carrots and capsicum the same treatment.
Remove beef from fridge.
On a clean cutting board, lay a strip of beef.
Assemble a julienne each of potato, carrot and capsicum on it and roll the meat around them into a tube.
Now for the fun bit!
Wind cotton thread round and around the tube till juliennes firmly secure. Voila! A beef julienne. Ditto with the rest.
In the same pan, heat a little more oil.
In with b. leaves and cardamom.
Fry till they release aroma.
Fry onions till translucent.
Then fry tomatoes till its water dries up.
In with the chillies, ginger, garlic and powders.
Stir till you get the aroma.
Then arrange the beef juliennes in the pan and cover.
Let beef stew in own juices of 10-15 minutes on a low flame (or till water starts to dry up).
Next, add water.
Just enough to cover the beef by a finger’s width.
Bring to a boil.
Then let the beef burble in pan on low flame till it cooks tender (check with a fork).
When almost done, squeeze juice out of tamarind and add to the broth.
Add salt to taste.
Gently shake the pan around.
When done, remove bay leaves and cardamoms, and allow beef to rest for 10-15 minutes.
I enjoy the ritual of unstringing the beef julienne as I eat but for the more orderly in our midst, de-string prior to plating (clean hands, merci b.), which come to think of it, makes for a better presentation.
Best with steamed rice.
Enjoy!

February 2, 2008 tonywrites Leave a response , , , , ,

Dal Antonio a.k.a. The ‘Bastard’ Doll


Um, can’t remember but sometime this century!
You must have read about the – What would be your last meal on Death Row? – thing. Here’s mine: Steamed rice, tadka dal, piece of fried surmai, papad and mango pickle. Throw in a few chilled beers, and that’s it. Last meal, last deal, last feel and screw washing up later. The final chapter in a life well (mis)spent. There are a thousand versions of dal or doll, as pronounced by my Aunts: Flo & Betty. I’ve eaten about 22 and counting. This number is my version: No.44. Hence Dal Antonio. I like my dal fiery and hot so I also call this the ‘Bastard’ version. Like you eat it, enjoy it, and next morning suffer it, and go: ‘Bastard’.

 

Serves 6

INGREDIENTS

3/4 cup tuvar dal
3/4 cup moong dal
2 medium tomatoes (roughly chopped)

~~~

Tadka:
1-2 tbsp oil
2-3 bay leaves
Handful curry leaves
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp mustard seeds
2 green chillies (sliced lengthwise)
5 garlic cloves (roughly chopped)
1/2″ piece of ginger (chopped super fine)
1 medium onion (chopped fine)
1/2 tsp turmeric powder
1 tsp chilli powder
2 tsps sambar masala
Salt to taste

HOW TO


Wash and soak dals in water for an hour.
In a large pot, put in 6 cups of water.
Add tomatoes.
Bring to a boil then put flame on low (it should take around an hour or so; if you use a pressure cooker, I don’t know, maybe 15 minutes; my rule of thumb is 3-4 whistles).
Cook till dals almost soft.
Ten minutes before dals cook, in frying pan heat oil on a high flame.
When smoking, fry b. and c. leaves (they’ll go brown in seconds).
Quickly toss in seeds: mustard and cumin.
When they splutter and pop, toss in green chilles.
Next garlic and ginger followed by onions.
Keep stirring all the time.
Lower flame and add the tumeric and chilli powder, and sambar masala.
Stir till aroma of spices wafts out of pan.
Then ladle in four to five heaps of dal into the frying pan.
Stir and allow dal to absorb the tadka.
The return f. pan’s contents to the pot with dal.
Stir till tadka evenly distributed.
Allow to come to boil.
Put flame on low.
Add salt to taste.
Let dal cook uncovered for another 10-15 minutes.
In the meanwhile, on a nice, big white plate, arrange a towering mountain of steamed rice.
Blob of mango pickle left top of plate (to the right if you’re right-handed; ’tis necessary culinary ergonomics; especially if you’re wearing a long-sleeved shirt). Place surmai fry in side plate; fried (screw roasting ’em) papad in another.
Ladle immense helping of dal over rice.
Son-of-a-bitch!
Enjoy!!

July 12, 2007 tonywrites Leave a response , , , , ,